birfday!

In The Cult of the Fact, Liam Hudson writes something to the effect of, "When a man turns thirty-five, he begins to be aware of his mortality"--that's a loose paraphrase--I'm too lazy to look up the exact quote at the moment. All I can say is, 'Amen, brother--testify!' I would add my own caveat--"Especially when said man is not where he planned to be at this tender age"...of course, things could be much worse. I've got great friends, family, a work life which, though not lucrative, is satisfying, (a little) money in the bank, etc...but!

There was a post on StreetbonersandTVCarnage yesterday by Robert Foster where he talked about choosing an 'alternative' life as opposed to a 'normal' one of early mornings, suburban effluvia and 'working for the man'...he was, for the most part, savaged in the comments. Kudos to those who write personal missives on highly trafficked websites, I say. I was dismissive in my comment to his article--not abusive, but dismissive. The fact is, parts of his essay hit a little close to home.

Without going into too much detail, it's safe to say that I had some of the same thoughts when I was younger. I suppose I was in my mid teens when I started devouring Henry Miller, the beats, Burroughs, et al...and decided a 'normal' life wasn't for me. Of course, I had no concern (yet) for the basics of life--i.e.--normal or not, we're all similar in the sense that we need to eat and put a roof over our heads. The process of navigating through one's dream life and the real one--that's been my concern for years--and I haven't done the greatest job of it. I've been naive, outright stupid, a master of procrastination (no discipline), and completely oblivious to simple facts of life that were not only staring me in the face, but actually getting up and slapping me, once-twice-thrice!

Anyway, I'm nothing if not a late bloomer. This birthday finds me awake and having a coffee at 7a.m. It's windy and wet outside, a light frosting of snow on the ground. The plan is to go hiking in Waskesiu national park with a couple of friends. A couple of beers and a chilly barbecue later on. The first birthday in a while where the plan isn't to get buck wild...but I guess you never know, right?