getting it togetha

i used to be a huge fan of synesthetic nostalgia trips...certain songs, smells, visuals (for example, yellow leaves billowing behind you on the highway) would send me on melancholy imaginative journeys, usually ending up with visions of me walking alone somewhere--whilst 'here i go again' by whitesnake played in the background, no doubt--yes, that is some extra olde forte cheese.

now that i'm a cynical old drunkard...i jest i jest, i think--i do find myself revisiting those daydreams, but without that same tug on the heartstrings...instead i've reached a point where i can see certain behavioural cycles repeating themselves...which is annoying and reassuring at the same time.

annoying in the sense that just when i think i've evolved out of a certain way of being, i discover that i'm still doing the same old shit, just in a different octave. reassuring--why? well sometimes it's nice to be reminded of what you bring to the world; sort of like coming down, perhaps--one goes out on a limb, then returns to the trunk?

and that was...

summer? holee shit. a few months gone down the memory hole...i was listening to a podcast today, called 'entitled opinions'--this particular episode focused on shakespeare. the host opened with some quotes from wittgenstein, who apparently couldn't deal with shakespeare--long story short, paraphrased, etc.; old ludwig was obsessed with a neat, categorical understanding of reality, whereas shakespeare presented a horizontal explosion of possibility--reality unfettered, so to speak.

what does this have to do with anything? well, and i may be stretching the analogy a bit, but i began the summer with the hope of having a very compartmentalized, constructive summer...and--it became debauchalypse 2010!!! hahaha...only partly true. the tenuous connection is this; what you plan to happen doesn't always happen...especially when you're like me--equipped with a sail that's ready to catch ANY prevailing wind.