HERE'S TO

Friends old and new. All the best to you.

on the inside

looking out.
just heard a term on the cbc tonight, which described perfectly the state of not being able to see yourself the way others see you. wish i could remember what it was...hitting my mid-thirties has made me ultra-conscious of this--my earlier devil may care attitudes have been found to be lacking. i've always had a strong fantasy life, and i've done a good job of projecting my mental milieu onto the outside world. nothing wrong with that, but it has taken me a little while to realize that eventually one has to be willing to change one's expectations, because the world certainly is not going to change to fit mine.

you're hiding from yourself, yes you are, yes you are

So zeroed in on my own. My own little dot of expectation that continually recedes. Little zero dot, mine. This little thing, that little thing, and this and this, and that. Can't see the forest for the trees?

Instantaneous collective amnesia while the world boils.

Someone out there blaming the earthquake and tsunami on the fact that the Japanese are atheists. (Say what?)

Female african-american b-ball player makes a tweet, says they deserve it because of Pearl Harbour. (Say double what?)

Apparently quite a few Chinese are cheering for a higher body count, thanks to the atrocities the Japanese committed against the Chinese during WWII. (Say--you get the idea)

Hard to figure out exactly what's happening in Japan vis-a-vis the nuclear situation. Supposedly, worst case scenario--somewhere between Chernobyl and Three-Mile Island. In the nuclear power plant age, perhaps every generation has their disaster. Three-Mile was before my time, but I definitely remember Chernobyl on the news as a kid. Perhaps this is the current generations nuclear disaster. Recently read a good article about Chernobyl in the March issue of Outside. It's now a giant nature reserve apparently, where scientists will get a chance to study first hand the effects of radiation on large mammals.

I have no educated opinion on nuclear power. My instinct is to distrust it. My younger self certainly hated it. My older self realizes that we either pump tons of money and research into alternative forms of energy NOW, or we start giving up our first world comforts NOW, or--

It seems to me that at the base of opposition to nuclear power is the intuition that it is somehow unnatural--it is poisonous to life, and its poisonous waste sits around being poisonous for fucking ever. But it's not 'un-natural'. It's as natural as you and me. Forgive my lack of better terms--it's a space-based energy. And space is as natural as you and me. Maybe it shouldn't be used on this planet. Maybe we should only use it if and when we go into space.

One thing I am sick of, though, is watching the pro and the anti nuclear people battle it out while the citizens of Japan are shitting their pants.

My social circles are small but varied, and I've noticed something over the past few years--and this is with people I've met and talked to just once, and people I've known for years; there's an apocalyptic vibe going on. The majority of people err on the negative side of things, though I have met some who think that humanity is just going through the birth pangs into a greater state of being. Hard to say if the negative end-of-the-world shit is a hold over from the ever joyous monotheistic religions our world has been blessed with for the past couple millenia, or if it's an honest reading of the state of things. How does the ancient Chinese curse go, "may you live in interesting times"--I really like that one, I always trot it out around 4:30 a.m., if anyone is still listening...and then there are those who state that you'll get the reality you think you want. So be pro-active why don't you, and start making it, like the people in the middle east are doing right now.

The West claimed almost a decade ago now that we wanted to bring democracy to the middle east. Well it's trying to fucking happen...and perhaps it's best if the people of that part of the world do it by themselves no matter how hard it is. It is great to be alive when it's happening (or trying to happen)...it will be different than our western democracy of course--if they succeed...well, they will...like a buddy of mine said, it's going to take a few years to finally put the 20th century geo-political zombies to rest...just in time for us to re-animate some new ones.

'conditions within time are ferocious'

What am I concerned with?

It's spring again. That makes me happy.

IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WEEK...

Mr. Woolfred at BX. Floats like a butterfly, stings like a--no he don't sting, he's a big ol' sweetie pants.
Those who but casually knew Owain and Andrea could never understand how such a skeptical and aloof couple could write so vividly and sympathetically on historical subjects. This seemingly improbable accomplishment appeared even more paradoxical when attained by two persons riveted to hard and demonstrable evidence, writing about a historical age that has been more romanticized than any other period. But to those privileged few who were permitted to know the real Owain and Andrea and to learn how they functioned, these contradictions transformed themselves into supporting buttresses. Belligerent opponents of romantic history and fine theories resting on insufficient evidence, these practical skeptics zestfully toppled such writing and pored over the available records to determine exactly what could be concluded about a historical institution or problem. When satisfied that they were working upon sound evidence and that all the facts had been assembled, they turned to the task of reconstruction. At this moment occurred the metamorphosis. With the enthusiasm and feeling of the artist and, yes, with the buoyancy of the boy with his kite on a fresh and early April morning, they built their facts into the articles and books that have stimulated the admiration and envy of all who can appreciate first-class historical thinking in a style that meets its high demands.
"The power of man has fallen. The period of mankind has passed away. A new world has arisen. The rule of Robots. The world belongs to the stronger. He who would live must rule. The Robots have gained the mastery. They have gained possession of life. We are masters of life. We are masters of the world. The rule over oceans and lands. The rule over stars. The rule over the universe. Room, room, more room for the Robots."---R.U.R.
'Into this Universe, and Why not knowing

Nor Whence, like Water willy-nilly flowing;

And out of it, as Wind along the Waste,

I know not Whither, willy-nilly blowing'---Omar K.

Go back, Jack?

Wheel turning round and round?

Kerouac spoke to the road. A certain mythology, an American asphalt dream.

And yes, it's still there for the taking.